Diyosa

Habang dahan-dahan mong
sinusuklay
ang iyong itim na buhok
gamit ang iyong
mala-kandilang mga daliri,
bumulwak
ang isang milyo't isang libong
salita mula sa aking bibig.
Nag-unahan,
nagsiksikan sa aking isip,
nagsumigaw,
kumawala.
Namulaklak ang mga dama
sa gitna ng katirikan ng araw
at sumabog ang nagmumura mong
bango.

Anu-anong mga sikreto ang nakasilid
sa likod ng kagandahan mo?
O, misteryo!

Sa bawat pagsuyod
paghawi
ng iyong korona, lumalim kang
parang palaisipan,
nagulumihanan ang kaluluwa.
Sino kang diyosang bumaba mula langit
para magparamdam,
magpakita sa 'kin?
Sino akong nilalang na
pinagkalugdan ng pagkakataong
mapagmasdan ka?

Umapaw ang berso
dumaloy ang mga salita.
Nagmistulang batis
ang aking bibig,
na kung pipigila'y
sasabog
sa pagkakapintog
sa naipong
tubig.

Dali-dali kong sinulat
ang tula
nang di kumawala,
humagod ang aking kamay
sa pagsabay
sa pagsabog
ng bulkan.

Pero sa muling pagmulat
mula sa panaginip,
naglaho ka
na parang estrangherong
'di na nakilala pa.
Sa miminsang sandaling
ibinaling
mula sa iyo ang paningin,
nanaig ang tadhana't
inagaw ka sa akin.
O, musa,
nasaan ka?

Buhos, ulan!
Diligan ang lupa
at pasibulin ang mga binhi
ni Demetrius.
Pasilabin ang araw, Zeus!
At payabunging muli ang ganda,
buhaying muli ang diyosang
minsang kumanti sa aking imahinasyon,
gumising sa nabubulok kong
laman,
at bumuhay sa namumutlang dugong
nanalantay sa mga ugat.

Uwak lang ang sumagot
sa aking mga panaghoy.
Naiwan akong tumatangis,
subsob ang mukha sa tigang na lupa.
Pinulot ko nang isa-isa
ang mga papel,
laman ang mga titik ng ala-ala
ng minsang pagpapakita
ng aparisyong kayganda,
ng multong kaaya-aya,
ng 'sang tunay na musa,
tunay na diyosa.

- written in 1999, inspired by Mina Ong

Kay Mito

Nakita kitang sumilip
mula sa likod ng bintana kong
bahagyang nakapinid
kumakaway nang buong kisig
sa bawat kumpas ng
mapaglarong hangin
at umiindayog sa bawat lisya
ng tusong bagyo,
tila sinasabayan
ang bugso ng bawat kong
hininga at ang dagundong
ng bawat pintig ng pulso
sa sentido.
Sa pakikipag-buno
bungkos-bungkos na dahon
ang kumikiskis-kiskis
na parang marakas
sa koro ng ulang
nagsisipilantikan
sa bubungang yero.

Kahanga-hangang
sa gitna ng unos
mistulan kang balerina't
musikero!

- written one stormy morning in 2000

Ulan Ulan Bantay Kawayan

Umagang kaydilim
ang bumulaga sa akin
pagkagising mula sa tulog
na mahimbing;
hanging kaylakas
ang humampas
sa bintana kong kagabi'y
naiwang bukas.
Ano'ng mainam gawin
sa umagang makulimlim
na may dalang malamig
na simoy ng hangin?
Ano pa kundi
ang sa kama'y manatili
at sa alapaap
ng panaginip
mamalagi.

- written one stormy morning in 2000

Bagyo Bagyo Bantay Kabayo

Sa ilalim ng malambot kong kumot
may sumuot na maliit na hayop
sumipa sa diwa kong
himbing sa tulog
kumiliti sa talampakan kong bagot.
Ano itong bumulabog?
'Di pa kamo nagpapilit
nangulit nang nangulit
hanggang 'di na ko makabalik
sa pagkakaidlip.

Gising na!
Tanghali na!
Ang musa ng bagyo'y
kinakaon ka!

- written one stormy morning in 2000

Pagsisilang

Matagal din kitang ipinagtiis
Banye-banyerang mga salita ang
Pinalampas
Pinaalpas sa ihip ng mga gabing
Walang pasintabi
Kung liliparin
Ng hangin ang mga bugso
At kadyot ng damdamin
Tangay-tangay ang katinuang
Umaalpas
Na parang tubig sa mga kamay.
At ngayong kaharap na kita
Sa katulad na gabi
Ipagkakanulo ang himbing
Ng tulog
Upang dinggin ang mga umuudyok
Na kulog.

- written one stormy morning in 2000

Five Minutes of Ecstasy

Five minutes of ecstasy
flavored jelly dry in my tongue
every breath out the nostrils
euphoria-like smoke in a crystal ball;
discordant notes in my head
playing like Kurosawa's dreams
a bubble of cream
tracing down my throat
into my lungs where smoke
stay afloat.

- written some time in 1999

Genesis

tiny seeds caught
in fouled air
drawn by billows of black smoke
coughed up by striped nostrils
red and white
protruding from barren earth
catalyze
coalescing dew drops hanging
and waiting suspended
in the hazy tropospheric mass
the burning red star polarizing
the ambivalent sky
helpless against the imminent brewing
of thunderstorms yet numb to the shock
of several million volts blind
to the flashes of light

then I heard thunder clap
from within

- written some time in 2000

You Make Me Want To

It's good to hear from you
Good of you to call
Been wanting bad to hear your voice
I miss that most of all

I don't wanna hang up
For I'll die if I do
You're so much a part of me
I'm nothing without you

Every time you call
I feel, I feel it all
What is it you do
That makes me wanna want you?

We talk and never tire
Think it's beyond normal
'Cause we only talk 'bout things
Inconsequential

What is it I feel for you?
Don't understand no more
Don't know what I'm going through
Never felt this before

Every time you call
I feel, I feel it all
What is it you do
That makes me wanna want you?

With all the confusion going on
Don't know if I can play along
But I say bring it on
Stay with you forever on the phone

Every time you call
I feel, I feel it all
What is it you do
That makes me wanna want you?

- originally intended as a song for Larra, written in 1999

I Wonder What It Would Take

I wonder what it would take
for you to agree to go out with me.
Should I bring out my flashy new SUV
and take you for a ride through the city?
Or should I smile my cutest smile
and wow you with the good looks of me.

I wonder if you'd go out with me
if I filled your room with blooms
or built my body up to a Schwarzenegger
and carry you around at noon?
Maybe if I brought out my witch's broom
you'd agree to go out with me soon.

Maybe you'd go out with me
if I brought you M&Ms daily
or gave you a foot massage
served soothingly over coffee.
I think maybe you'd go out with me
if I brought you all the world's fancy.

But I don't have a groovy car to ride in
nor a witch's broom to fly with,
only good stories and good company.
You see all I could offer you is me.

I don't have looks that could kill
nor a rock-hard bod with which to thrill,
I've only the purest of intentions,
sincerity, with no pretensions.

Your dentist would kill me
if I gave you M&Ms daily.
You might think massage over coffee
as too intimate too early.

So you see I have nothing much to offer,
just me and this bunch of flowers.
I don't know what you want to hear or see
but one thing is very clear to me:

I like you. Please go out with me.

- written some time in 1998 for Ruth H.R.

Ode to the Sea

Where the wind blows freely
Where waves and sand touch endlessly
Where the sky meets tenderly
The sea

Where dark blue skies cover me
And sand warms me
Where stars wink at me
Naughtily

Where a soft breeze would carry me
To where imagination allows me
Where I am finally free
To be

Where I cannot pretend to be
Any more than me
Where I can be true to myself and see
Inwardly

Where I can see my reflection
Clearly in the glassy sea
Where I think more freely
And naturally

Where I am who I am really
And not me
Where truth is truth
Constantly

Where comfort comes soothingly
From the sound of sea
Where peace overwhelmingly
Enfolds me

Where I can almost see eternity
Looking back at me
Beckoning me
To be free

- written some time in the late 90s

The Emancipation of Ra

You are like the sun
worshipped by primeval entities,
revered even in the deepest recesses -
in caves of stone and forests deep.
Creatures rage and bask as they forage
under your eternal fire.

You are like the sun
and I lie scorched, counting irregular
blotches and scars on my body that's
as bare as the oceans and
helpless as the seas.

Even the stars die out under your blinding
light. The moon draws its illumined countenance
from you, oh glorious King!
You are like the sun, raging and majestic,
towering and nurturing.

Do not go! Do not let the cold of night rule
in your stead. Burn instead and lick the earth
with tongues of fire. Burn incessantly and sear
my calloused heart, for I fear the enveloping
darkness of your absence.

Stay. Stay forever. Then we shall lie in the
comfort of our love. For I am like the earth
and you are like the sun
and between us there should be
only void.

- written some time in 2001 for Elias

Beholding Beauty

In a voiceless whisper
You called to me and
Lured my soul
To come and draw near.
You held my hand and
Brought me close
To unfelt bliss,
Unknown ecstasy.

I opened my eyes and
Saw what was before me,
Standing there
Elegantly,
Splendidly,
In form, most pure,
Most delicate:
Beauty.

Your face, asymmetrical
Yet poised, confounded me,
Held my eyes captive
And possessed me.
As I gazed at your face,
The lovely folds
Glowed in the
Mild morning sun,
Shimmered and
Broke into a thousand
Different hues,
Into a musical canvas
Of tone and brilliance
Waking my imagination.

Unlike any I have felt
Or touched, your skin,
Soft and supple,
Beckoned me to caress
Your body. Then,
As in a trance, I let
My hand glide over
Your entirety.
Oh, beauty!

Dazed from your sweet
Subtle scent, my mind
Wandered through eternity,
To a dream of beauty
Divine and ethereal.

To have lived and fought
And not felt such freedom,
To have gone and sought
And not found such splendor,
To have walked the earth
And never seen such majesty
Is to me like sin
Against such beauty.

- written some time in the late 90s as an ode to Philippine flora, dedicated to Raven in 2009

Ramblings

I heard you talk about your insight
on affairs of the heart one night.
You caught my attention on-site.
Have I...?
Nah, it was the view at Kelly Heights.

I came to know a really great person
fun-loving and always in season.
For an ailing heart, you're like a potion.
Have I...?
Nah, it's out of season.

I hear your strong and reassuring voice
everything else becomes noise.
To me your voice is music of choice.
Have I...?
Nah, I'm not like most other boys.

I often catch myself looking your way.
I just caught myself the other day.
Didn't exactly know what to say.
Have I...?
Nah, not me, Jose.

I miss the smile that brings me cheer
whenever you're not near.
Now I don't want you ever to disappear.
Have I...?
Nah, unlikely, a bit queer.

I miss your punch and gentle attack
whenever I'm out on backpack.
You make me want to hurry back.
Have I...?
Nah, I don't want to turn blue and black.

I search around and look for you
and when I don't see you
I feel blue.
Have I...?
Nah, must be getting the flu.

And then one night you decided to trust me
with things you held in secrecy.
You can't imagine how much that meant to me.
Have I...?
Nah, I'm no sucker for intimacy.

I stayed on the phone with you 'til dawn
not wanting to put down the telephone.
To you I think I was drawn.
Have I...?
Nah, I've always been alone.

I guess I'll always remember
the day we dined together
when time really didn't matter.
Have I...?
Nah, but I think it's becoming clearer.

I sat beside you and wanted to stay
couldn't find a reason to go away.
I didn't want to leave you anyway.
Have I...?
Nah, it's too early to say.

I touched your feet and felt alright.
Can't remember if it was the left or the right.
I just knew then that it felt so right.
Have I...?
I don't know, maybe my head was light.

Then yesterday I saw you
with somebody else, someone I knew.
I didn't know what to make of the view.
Have you...?
Oh, how I wish it wasn't true.

I envied the hands that held you.
I envied the arms around you.
It was only then that I knew.

Yes, I have fallen for you.

- written in 1997 for Ruth