Vertigo

My hands, still wet
from the condemnation
that befell me, tremble
at every heartbeat;
when spurious ecstasies
sparked, spread from
the groin like the itch
of seven lifetimes
overpowered me, gnawed
from under skin to being,
I lost my soul. I groan
in desperation cried
out, "Redemption!"
to the heedless gods.
With endless prayers,
past stares, I choked.
The numbness on my face
and neck let trickle
saliva down my throat,
sweat soaked skin
flooded the core, rendered
helpless my body.
A flash and a glimpse of earth
I catch as it sped toward me -
or I toward it.

Then blackness.

I awoke with pain
tremendous searing through
my brain, my eyes pounding
at each gush of blood.
I strained to see my body
slumped face down on mud.

- written some time in 1999